| so yay i feel like i killed my foot i have some really really good
tabaco and the breakfast club comes on in like 5 mins good day good day
and i love you mary and jessie two of my very favorite people~James
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| im disconnecting myself from everyone.im tired and done. and if there
is a "God" fuck him and fuck christianity. everyday i wake up i hurt
and evrytime i asked him for anything it never happened. i feel empty.
i almost feel nothing. i honestly dont care if i die now im not being
angsty im just being straight forward. and back to the god thing. My
father has been a stong God loving man since he was 19 and he blindly
followed and when the church fell apart showing its falsehoods he still
followed. he prays all the time. he was never mean to anyone. he
wasvery kind and giving. and then this so called god let him have a
stroke and he laid in the hospital in a coma like state for almost 4
months then when he finally pulled out a little he went though so much
hell at the rehab center to gain back what little he could . he
now has no movement or feeling of his entire right side . he still
prays to this fucker and thanks him for his life. and apologizes to me
for me to have to take care of him and says that he is so ashamed of
himself. he thinks the stroke and everything is all his fault and he is
so depressed and nothing looks good. we can barely afford the house we
just built which is what ended up giving him the stroke in the first
place. he cries and prays and begs for forgiveness because he cant
provide for us anymore and he tries so hard to help my mother and cries
because he cant. and i dont understand how after following this "god"
for so long that this shit could happen to him and its not getting any
better and he still prays and loves "god" so i dont think there is a
god anymore. and it kills me. i feel so dead and empty inside and my
false smiles hide everything. nothing has gone right for me since i
cant remember when. most of my friends are false and just flakes so
fuck them but there are a few good ones that mean alot to me. nobody
from school has called me in a very long time and i have been so let
down and dissapointed. maybe i wont wake up in the morning. so
lets see how it goes. bye
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| Boo for english papers they are big stupid heads.
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| Wow...a good day just came from outta no where...fun |
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| I'm so depressed...and the sad thing is I forgot why.
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